Many times women tend to fall into certain patterns when it comes to dating. Now, they don’t have to be negative ones, but they typically are. Once you know what to watch for, though, you’ll find that those patterns will dissipate in no time.
One of those patterns is to stop mistaking comfort for love or attraction. This happens when you meet someone that you feel comfortable with instantly. You already know what to say and not to say around them, what makes them laugh, and other things. What you’re missing here is that he’s a lot like your ex, and most of the exes before him. Stop letting history repeat itself.
Another pretty important thing you want to watch is keeping in touch with your ex. Yes, it may seem harmless and you hate to simply cut him off that way. You’ve probably got a thousand excuses as to why you keep texting or calling him. Something you need to remember is that you’ll never move on while your ex is still in the picture.
There’s a lot to be said for companionship, but how many times do you let companionship take hold and settle in while taking the place of excitement. Relationships should have at least some excitement in them so that you’ve got something to look forward to. If there’s too much comfort in your relationship, it won’t be long until it becomes really boring and not worth the effort.
Something else to remember is that you need to pace yourself when you’ve just ended a relationship with someone. This is particularly true if you were in a long term relationship. Give yourself some time to heal before you dive right into dating someone new. Rebound relationships rarely work out.
Some women decide that they’re just dating the wrong types of guys. So instead of trying to figure out what went wrong in the last relationship, they start dating guys opposite from the type they usually date. This is a recipe for disaster.
(Lots of things matter in life. Your career. Your health. Your finances. But nothing matters quite as much as your relationships.)
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Something else you should never do is pretend to be something that you’re not. Many women decide that they simply don’t want to feel anything anymore so they try to pretend to be players. Eventually, you’re going to really hurt someone and then you’ll feel awful.
Last, but not least, don’t lie to yourself about what’s really going on in your relationship. If he’s seeing other people, but you’re not allowed to, that’s not a relationship. He’s calling all the shots and you’re pretending that it’s all good. The problem is that it’s not all good and you need to stop lying to yourself. He doesn’t love you and you’re not in a true relationship if that’s going on.
Now, if you find yourself repeating any of these patterns over and over again, it’s time to take stock of what you’re really doing when it comes to relationships. Be ready to change what needs to be changed and stand up for yourself. You deserve a true relationship, but you’re not going to do it by repeating destructive patterns.